Marriage and the Imago Dei

During my coursework at Westminster my Marriage Counseling was simultaneously my least favorite class and the class in which I learned the most through completely inadvertant means. In other words, there are classes in which I learned a great deal by purposely applying myself to the coursework, but this is the one time that learning by osmosis actually occurred. (On a sidenote, this is also the class--albeit with a different teacher--which prompted the name of Liz's blog, which in turn is the source of much blog-name envy on my part.)

One of the things I appreciated most about this class was that the instructor--the awesome Winston Smith--was very clear about the answer to one question that would absolutely be on our test: True or false? God created marriage as a cure for loneliness. Answer: False. He then proceeded to give the most majestic and glorious purpose statement for marriage I have ever heard, and it can be summed up in two words--Imago Dei. And what is the Imago Dei? Just a fancy-shmancy way of saying we were created in the image of God to be image-bearers of God. When God created Adam in His image, it was an unattainable goal for Adam. How could one man adequately reflect the image of God when God Himself exists in a plurality of Personhood? In other words, God has lived in community--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit--from eternity; so in order to fulfill his job description to the best of his ability, Adam had to have help. So Eve was created to help him bear the image of God. Their children joined them in this endeavor, however much sin may have marred this image; and we, too, join the ranks of image-bearers fulfilling the purposes of God for the human race. Now those of you familiar with the Westminster Confession are probably thinking right now, "But man's chief end (or purpose, for you lay folk) is to glorify God and enjoy him forever, not to be an image-bearer!" To which I reply, "Semantics, people. What would glorify God more than to have His own character reflected back at Him by His creation?" And you would be stumped because that is obviously a rhetorical question.

So what is the point of this blog, you ask? Honestly, I could go a million different directions with this beginning, but I will content myself with one...in this blog. I have found myself increasingly distressed by the desperation and subsequent lack of discernment I've seen in the marriage market of late. Perhaps it is the fact that my peer group is pushing toward their 30s and feeling the pressure to pair off before their expiration date, but it seems to me that there is some undue haste in these endeavors which results in an already weighty institution's being overburdened by the hopes and dreams of an entire generation and suffering the consequences. Allow me to explain. Our current culture--evidenced by television, books, movies, magazines, even news media outlets--extols the virtues of romantic love (which we will call eros) and (sometimes) marriage as a panacea that will bring order and peace to our lonely, chaotic lives. And we fall for it hook, line, and sinker. We pursue eros with every fiber of our being, throwing caution to the wind with our rose-colored glasses firmly in place, hoping beyond all hope that our intense loneliness can be assuaged by the love of another. And like Icarus, we discover, too late, that our wax wings, so beautiful and inspiring in theory, are incapable of withstanding the heat of a very real sun.

And now you're wondering what this all has to do with the concept of the Imago Dei. Just this, what would happen if we adjusted our theology of marriage? What if, instead of viewing marriage as a prescription for loneliness (which many an Icarus can tell you it is not), we saw it as just another way that we could image God? Not the only or best way, but a way. What if we chose a marriage partner based on the completeness of the image we created together? What if, instead of trying to find someone who made us comfortable and happy, we looked for someone who encouraged us to bear a clearer image of God. From all I have observed, the best marriages generally take this pattern whether or not the participants are conscious of the fact. Two very different people come together to make one more complete person (in a mystical sort of way), and in the process influence each other to become more complete images of God (in a very tangible way). In a world where divorce rates among Christians are indistinguishable from those of unbelievers, could this be one way to bring change? Can theology really influence behavior? Another of my favorite lessons from seminary suggests it can: all theology is practical. Let's try it and see, shall we?

Next blog: Singleness and the Imago Dei