Thoughts on Philippians

Well, as anticipated, my last blog "series" did not end up being a series at all. It's probably for the best. Now, two years later, I'm back with another post. So the book of Philippians has been a recurring theme in my life recently, with many friends reading it and me reading it with some of them. My friend, Robin, mentioned that she and another woman were actually writing out the book for their study and making comments as they went. I had actually started doing this myself (though I hadn't gotten very far, due to my extreme laziness) and decided to post some of my thoughts on what I'm reading. So far, my thoughts have turned quickly to prayer; so basically, I'm going to let you in on some of my conversations with God through the book of Philippians. I can only hope this is actually beneficial and not just self-indulgent. Anyway, here's the first entry I wrote a few months ago.

Phil 1:1 "Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus"

That's an interesting way to refer to themselves, especially in light of Phil 2:5-11. Do I really consider myself a servant of Christ? Based on my choices and actions, can I rightly call myself his servant?

In all honesty, I think that may be at the heart of my current struggle. Do I really want to be a servant of Christ? Mercifully, God has been working hard to change my desires, but I cannot say I've been a huge help to him. He has been very faithful to work in me "both to will and to work for his good pleasure." But I can't say I've been terribly faithful to "work out [my] salvation with fear and trembling."

Lord, help me to submit myself to your authority. Forgive me for desiring to be my own god. Forgive me for my arrogance in thinking there are things I can do without you. Forgive me for preferring a pretend world that I can control and manipulate as I will to the real world that you have created and designed me to participate in. Thank you for your faithfulness to continually draw me back to you; to be working sanctification in me, even when I'm not participating with you; for being the only good, pure thing in my life; for inspiring me by your love and incredible character. Please give me strength and courage to grow more into your likeness, even and especially when it defies my nature and defies earthly wisdom.

*Disclaimer: When I wrote this, I was not concerned about grammar rules; and I have chosen to retain it exactly as written, without polishing it for correctness.